[CHORUS] Concerningly uncertain, Feeding the world serpent It's not for you whom the world turns for [VERSE 1] You can't wash your hands of this. Atlas couldn't handle the weight of my secrets Never spoken, but you don't know I've told you so many times before Through flinching, the wincing at nothing Overprotective instincts A shadow cannot exist in the dark, and so I dwell in it A scream for help can't be heard during war, so why yell for it? [CHORUS] [VERSE 2] Run it. At a food truck, chatting with Zarathustra with his sick sense of humor He said, "if God is dead, then we've all been crashing his funeral. Every day, we've been robbing his grave, I guess his body fertilized the hyacinths." If you ask them, all children born in the hood are sacrificial lambs so peace would still be sacrilege You can't wash your hands of this There are no answers Here, theft is a crime of passion We move work on the sabbath here, nigga. [CHORUS] [VERSE 3] I had a stuffed tiger I told all my secrets I knew it couldn't hear me, so when I talked, I could mean it It's ironic how many ways we related You see, it couldn't tell me no, either They blamed themselves for the suicide, I told them, "don't beat yourself up, it was a team effort." Cries for help drowned out by team Edward, or something just as inconsequential the streets thirst for blood ain't quenchable in the eyes of the law, all negroes are identical The ego is untenable So when I asked for help, all my problems were unamendable Brushed off like an ad, or a gnat I'm just a kid, all that matters is i don't press your buttons So I'm playing niggas like a gba You couldn't see them old screens in the dark And you couldn't see me So don't need nobody's approval for me to feel stable No link cables [CHORUS]

[CHORUS] Can't we talk? I learned how to play your favorite song I hate it when you're here but I'm too young to make it on my own And I'm afraid of what will happen when you're gone So I learned your favorite song, it goes... [INTRO] Okay. Thin line between help and harm Years short, but the seconds long I can’t help that I get attached You lose things and can’t get them back Thin line between help and harm Years short, but the seconds long I can’t help that I get attached You lose things and can’t get them back You lose- [VERSE 1] Make my birth name feel like a slave name, it rolls off the tongue wrong Fuck it, just call me Decuma Told him she touched me, he laughed like, "you getting lucky, I wish I were you" The difference is that he wishes it In fact I heard he starts bitching if he hasn't slid it in by minute sixty His ex girlfriend exclaims, "he hit me!" You'd think she'd get where I'm coming from when no one takes you seriously But she touched me and said, "if you speak up, imma scream" I suppose it's just a black man thing Its a different set of laws for niggas He's giving black eyes cause of blue balls and he's free to walk Meanwhile I get in trouble when I say that I'm being stalked You made my birth name feel like a slave name, but [CHORUS] [VERSE 2] I think they love to fetishize me cause adults love to see sharp minors like Chopin Growing smokescreen, your dreams blow away and they fall flat Before he grabs the pole and puts on a percussion concierto, march you to your funeral all quick like My biggest dream is to die in my sleep instead of violently And I was told I set the bar too high Just tap dancing for the crackers hoping I don’t die You told me men were purely sexual creatures, I tensed up and felt I had a fever My heartbeat could shake the ether, my anger could drown a god My anger gone get me killed, you feel me? It comes out as a joke, that’s the only way that you hear me I felt I was a product to be consumed A jester in front of a tyrant, knowing he’s fighting for life, and if he stops entertaining, he knows he’ll by dying soon The police driving down I-95 in 25, murder in the eyes, so [CHORUS] [VERSE 3] I tried to scrub until I didn't feel dirty; My skin peeled Then the blood felt exalting, at least the skin heals Tell me why doesn’t god love me the way that god made me? Tell me, how do I love myself when you tell me god hates me? Trauma turned my dualist, if I told myself I wasn’t my body I wouldn’t want do what I do to it See, the blood felt exalting, and at least the skin heals So the cutting turned religion, and I worshiped it for years I thought things would be different, a talent show has a winner I’ve always been told I’m gifted, but this is a different mission I thought things would be different if I could just prove my worth I didn’t get that I was used, and they’d just move to someone new Why is every love I’ver ever known conditional? Every pain I’ve ever known centrifugal? Every religion, physical? I’m so alone with my secrets, and so I shared them with this fucking stuffed tiger just so that something could hear it [CHORUS] Can’t we talk? I learned how to play your favorite song I hate that this is how it goes, but I’m too young to make it on my own And I’m afraid of what’ll happen when you’re gone, so I learned your favorite song It goes [VERSE 4] Nobody knows the trouble I see Glory, glory, glory, hallelujah Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down

[INTRO] There's a storm brewing… [VERSE 1] That was the only time he was proud of me, I joined the kiddie league Balled out for free every week Fucked up my knees, cause I wanted him to be proud of me It's crazy how fast I went from perfect to good for nothing Spending every day with the man that abused my brothers Resentment growing for others He told me to flex and he touched my pecs I told him, "please don't" He said, "don't talk back to me, I'll touch you wherever I want-" Can't we just watch the movie? [VERSE 2] If you can’t back out, act out I know I lash out, spaz out Mentally lag out, la- Then I got slapped out, slapped out Imma Wait till you pass out, black out Pulling the mac out, blacow Let's see who's a man now. Man down Don't be a rat now, assed out This what you asked for, and what I dream bout Ain't no peace now Rebound with a freestyle, but it seeps into the beats now Can’t sleep, and I can’t eat, Imma kill you if it kills me It’s my fantasy, and it worries me, it should worry you, ain’t you heard of me? Hold up bro, time out, time out, let me just calm down Too many people rely on me If I get killed, then there lives on me Manipulation they tried on me worked when my conscious was fighting me I’m ten, tryna save the world, who’s saving me? You told me to pray, but it seems that god doesn’t favor me Pressure building majorly, it’s breaking me Insane to think it went this way for nary a reason Can’t get a day of peace The shadows in the alleyways cascading terrible things Every decision is bigger than me And so are the people actively choosing not to help me [BRIDGE] I don’t think that I know how to love, so I’m sorry but, Why do people treat me like a toy? What’s the point huh? Why do people treat me like a toy? What’s the point huh? Why do people treat me like a toy? What’s the point huh? [VERSE 3] I be very wary of white women It was never about me, they like the power they can't get in their misogynistic household Would it be too much to ask? Or would that fuck up your fantasy, you may be less then your dad, but at least you aren't black, Right? Meat’s taste better when you hunt it Humans are persistence predators, put bluntly How ironic, this is the one time somebody wants me, Chain dangling from the neck, cracker screaming, "daddy, fu-" That was the only time he was proud of me He pushed me until I couldn't stand on my own Limp and vulnerable, teary eyed, was the only time he was proud of me Balled out for free, every week He ignored my needs and brushed off my pleads, so I just had to take that defeat and let him carry me when I didn't even want him to touch me And he called the carrying love And so I thought that it was So when it came to loving others, I had misunderstood You want me to tell the truth? Then I can't write you a happy ending The relationship between rappers and stolen valor is cancer Faux glamor with poor grammar, no standards Pandering to the white man in front of the cameras It was just a nigger's word against hers I didn’t stand a chance The pressure always worked on my nerves You watched my shaky hands My childhood faded in a blur I’ll never get it back And nothing that I try ever works And nothing ever lasts I was told your life is a loan you need to pay forward, I'm watching niggas lose their lives in principle, bro, it's typical Shit is centrifugal Tearing your larynx out, it's paramount Rite of passage is inheriting the mind prison I write ambient music because life feels like one long, dissonant drone Strike the bomb company only to lose your home Where was I supposed to go? The target you for the weakness you show [BRIDGE] I found I had to die to show you I couldn’t breathe Dying became a habit displayed for others to see Identity fragmented, I didn’t know what to be I found it never mattered as long as I wasn’t me I found it never mattered as long as I wasn’t me I found it never mattered as long as I wasn’t me I found it never mattered as long as I wasn’t me I found it never mattered as long as I wasn’t me I am not a slave [PART II] [VERSE 1] They told me, “let the love of god wash over me.” They said he loves me, but something’s wrong And as my father threateningly stands over me He says he loves me, but something’s wrong She doesn't want me to think that she's crazy She says she loves me, but something's wrong They say touching me is how they tell me That they love me, but something's wrong They told me, “let the love of god wash over me.” They said he loves me, but something’s wrong And as my father threateningly stands over me He says he loves me, but something’s wrong She doesn't want me to think that she's crazy She says she loves me, but something's wrong They say touching me is how they tell me That they love me, but something's wrong [VERSE 2] I am not a toy I am not a basketball that you can throw around, that you can make go through hoops I am not something you can grab and shove in the trunk whenever you want I am not something to leave to rot in the basement when you're done I am not a toy for your amusement It's funny how you're all abusive, and as such You called the suffering love You said the self is defined by the suffering You said the self is defined by the suffering The self is defined by the suffering

[VERSE 1] Told him, "you're wasting time putting me on the pulpit Every sin I ever committed been admitted to And I ain't never been admitted in no hospital, so stop getting hostile" I'm not an apostle, I'm a philosopher, issa difference [CHORUS] Had to ask why I got so violent Cause y'all don't listen when I use my words, that pussy shit is for the birds [VERSE 2] I guess until I catch a body you niggas will never learn, so the blood I spill's on you Don't fucking touch me, I'm autistic, I'm not dumb I'm not afraid of what'll happen to me if I own a gun I just know that feeling last time I touched one Pussy niggas love to play God They rape women and have the fucking nerve to enter the house of God We are all children of God, but cum is thicker than blood They point fingers They forget Sodom was burned when they raped the angels, don't nobody care about who's gay in there Fake gangster call his crib the G spot You can't eat hot dogs in public, silly shit But your sister can't be in the house alone You say protect the kids and left your kids with a pedophile and wonder why they so temperamental You call it disrespectful [CHORUS] You ask why they got so violent Cause you ain't listen when they used their words, that pussy shit is for the birds [VERSE 3] Footsteps at night make my chest tighten Garage door openers, front door creaking You desperately try, but you can't steady your breathing Deep down you thinking, "they day i kill god, we'll be even" But right now, you just surviving the evening Pretending to be asleep Years later, 16, getting called lame at parties for not drinking Pitying them a little cause you know you know more than them about what it does to you Its all fun and games until somebody gets violent They don't listen when you use your words, cause when you drunk, that pussy shit is for the birds Don't fucking touch me. I remember playing actions figures, pretending to be bigger, stronger Dismembered my fa-[CENSORED] I remember playing actions figures, pretending to be bigger I was stronger, I was a superhero who couldn't falter I was a God with no faults Nobody could fucking touch me playing action figures [CHORUS] [BRIDGE] You can't wash your hands of this You created me, and now you can't run from me [CHORUS] [VERSE 4] Don't fucking touch me, dummy, that's how you get fucked up Your luck's dried up I hope your nightmares look like us What a relationship we've created here An evil so intimate, a hate so cathartic A violence so pleasurable, oh I'm ever so excited It's like a wet dream Won't you please come closer to me? I wanna feel you, i wanna make you scream, I want my hand to hold every single one of your teeth I wanna be the one that makes you bleed, the smell of old pennies everywhere I wanna feel your bones snap under my feet, I want you to feel the same desperation you gave me I want you to never be able to walk outside without feeling that same fear I want you tied down and begging, naked, vulnerable I want you out of my fucking head Oh, I'm so excited, I can't hold still And we can do it all again when I see you in hell.

[CHORUS] I am the fate now, I am the one I am the sword now, I am the gun I am the God now, I am the sun I am the sword now, I am the, I am the [VERSE 1] I'm running from something imaginary, like the floor is lava Anything to keep me from going under A fire lit in me, and boy, did it fucking burn And even though my anger hurt, I still didn't fucking learn I pushed it to the side, but it won't wait its fucking turn I think I want to hurt somebody. I feel so sick today, I think I want to hurt somebody Let this MC take you on a ride The fear is all consuming So I think I want to hurt somebody My body laid stripped and abused, I felt I could relate to Jesus on the crucifix But this time, we're beyond absolution How cruel! How cruel! How fucking devious are you?! You don't want me to get even My body is tainted, my body is soiled, my body isn't mine, No, you don't want me to get even, nigga A body for a body, a body for a body I think I want to hurt somebody. [VERSE 2] Me and my city swimming in denial Watching bodies pile, faux necrophiles I'm haunted by the ghosts of memories I can't push back An anger I can’t distract, the fear that shapes my tasks You can't wash your hands of this. The past is atrophic Can’t have a plan for this, it’s cancerous The hate that’s been planted in this class of bastards Fear’s a tool for pandering, so now [CHORUS] [VERSE 3] Wait until I break, fate will take it’s toll The hate in the soul makes a gaping hole The weight of the pole abates when faced with those past their breaking point Pretending it makes them whole It's a story as old as time One wants revenge, and so they pull out a shotty You know what they say, where there's a will, there's a body One of us will die here, nobody can stop me Imma make you jump like the floor is lava, got the heat tucked, dance the mamba, banner homage Snakes want beef, it’s on me to mop them See, the only things that we passed down are ash and honor They say you gotta keep the piece to keep the peace At least it seems the cycle will proceed with me We feed the beast, the beast is free The streets is screaming Looking for a truth they refuse to see, my g Fetishized the pain so it’s something I could cope with I done used hoes just to know what control is Looking for catharsis, I done broke bridges, I done broke noses, I done had visions In an empty hallway, I done seen ghosts sit I done told god I ain’t repenting for no sin I done got desperate, I done tried potions I done fell victim, ego hypnosis Imma need to catch a body to quell this anger stagnant in me Yo, I think I wanna hurt somebody I'm owed a debt, and you're about to pay my father's sins Since you think this shit's a game, let the games begin I done put my body through a life of abuse So I used dualism as an excuse At the end of the day, I mislead you tryna duck the truth I am what you must rebuke [CHORUS] [VERSE 4] Thinking about what happened before got me past tense Like some old vinyl, imma repress Fist clenched, bells toll, ain’t no recess Wincing when somebody dies, thinking imma be next Presenting the severed head of a king, yelling, "this is the real Louis" I’m in my bag, you niggas is meals to me I turn emcees into chop suey, I’m cut throat I can make a good broth out of all our closet bones Y’all gonna need to leave another seat for my ego Don’t get too close, you’ll get heat stroke Elite prose, D is a cheat code Delete those beneath me A milli has tried defeat me Every attempt increasingly feeble The way I battle the truth, I feel like Kobe The self collapses inwards, The relapse is imminent The attacks is intimate We all relate to the myth of sisyphus [CHORUS] [VERSE 5] I ain’t bartering Too many rapists in this game that we’re harboring Nobody here is sovereign But I get it, nothing is harder than burying heroes, it’s bothersome You start to think of what it says about you You know they say, it takes a village Nobody’s down for consequences, but loves a public lynching We in the streets be penny pinching, we can’t pay for what we’ve done Down joy road is a river of blood How many of us accepted a darker fate because that's just how it was? The nature of humanity is adaptation, this perception is a byproduct of cowardice Of course, you can't be to blame, it's the world that's insane, you're just a player in this game What a shame, when one fails to assess the self through examples that are hyperbolic Granted one’s worth as “at least we’re not them.” The democratic solution The black household demands a philosophical copernican revolution As we slowly spin the vinyl back Brooding [CHORUS]

[CHORUS] Life so foul, let’s play house [VERSE 1] This shit can get really wild, really wild This shit can get really wild This shit can get really wild, everybody defiled Everybody defiled A chest feeling wound as tight as a drum Assess meaning by fight or flight that you can find when he comes Arrested development propels your fist to the gun The bell tolls for no one, there no hope where we're from A chest feeling wound tight as a drum If you've got a fear, you'd drown it in rum If you've got a fear, you'd drown it in- [VERSE 2] No wonder I’m stressed Remember when [CENSORED] leaked my address to the press and got mad I was pressed? I can’t hold a gun but I need me a vest You told me I’m needy at best and that you don’t need me to rest, why can’t I remember we’re blessed? My head is a mess I know you don’t know me the best, but can’t we please talk about the vest? I don’t wanna talk no more. [VERSE 3] You think that you safe? Watch how fast niggas come in your place, Tryna cum on your face Greedy niggas tryna steal all our things And I know that we ain't toting them things This is all we got There isn't a plan B I know you can't stand me You think I'm demanding You think that I think I'm the man Tell me what that means When everyone's a threat to me i think that you're capping But this all we've got I know it's not a lot but it's all that we got A chest feeling wound tight as a knot You think that we're safe but I know that we're not I done seen how these niggas get shot Its never you till you up and get caught And if I'm the nigga that let the nigga that murdered his sister in the house, then Imma be the damn fool with no sister But now I'm the damn fool that got you pissed, I swear its no winning with this A chest feeling getting heavy as sin But there's a reason that I'm feeling like this [CHORUS] [VERSE 4] I'm tired of writing tragedy When I have a panic attack, you people laugh at me Pretending I'm beyond understanding I been the only one fighting my battles I been the only one that’s taking care of me I done seen too many things that’s been harrowing Murder and heroin, rape happens everywhere My entire life, motherfuckers been pushing my boundaries This is the place I’ve got This is the only place that I think I won’t got shot A chest feeling wound tight as a knot Please get these niggas right out of my house I haven’t slept for bout 40 hours Call me what you want, I know I’m a coward But I’m a survivor, I’ve spent my life just desperately clinging to life You’d be surprised what a person can do with a knife, or what they can do when they’re white Or what they can do when they think they’re fighting for their life 25 straight hours of adrenaline, I could kill him with my bare hands Before he kills you, it’s a grand stand I think I wanna hurt somebody, I could kill a man I feel so sick today I think I wanna hurt somebody. Don’t fucking touch me. [OUTRO] Katie’s dragging me to therapy They say I need help But I don’t think there’s helping me.

Hey. I don't know if you can hear me over there but I think I need help. Or I just need somebody to make it stop. I'm not really sure. I fantasize and romanticize even the worst of times, my psyche reaches out to my younger self, desperately trying to send a message. These old ears can't hear it no more. And that scares me.

[VERSE 1] I don’t know how much more I have in me. An overwhelming lethargy, an overwhelming emptiness, somebody help me. Nothing’s helping I think I want to hurt somebody. The cops came, asking for me by name I couldn't shoo them away Nothing’s helping I think I want to hurt somebody The cops came, asking for me by name I couldn’t shoo them away I couldn’t remember how many pills I’d taken My mother came from her room I couldn't remember how many pills I’d taken My mother came from her room A collective guilt trip ensued I genuinely thought I was helping And I didn’t know how to tell them, “I thought I was helping you, and I’m not strong enough to live for you,” I didn’t know how to tell them, “I thought I was helping you, and I’m not strong enough to be strong for you,” So I let them berate me for not thinking of them. I let them berate me for not thinking of them She called me selfish, she called me a coward She’s absolutely right. [VERSE 2] She called me selfish, she called me a coward Reprimanded because she was scared and couldn’t understand it My wonderful mother, with the world on her shoulders, couldn’t fathom burying her youngest son I internalized the yelling, what had I become? How often is our love expressed as violence? My mother doesn’t say, “I love you” she says, “you better not die before me.” This life, riddled with suffering is coped with through bluffing That’s what adults do. We play pretend, and we teach our children how to play pretend, and the rules get lost with time, until it’s not a game, but a habit She called me a coward She was absolutely right. I couldn't finish the job that night. Why doesn't anybody ever get what they deserve? My assaulter is free while I'm losing family to diseases doctors don't know how to cure We pretended that I was fine and pretended that nothing happened, now we're mad at the consequence of our actions How sad. But I don’t know how much more I have in me An overwhelming lethargy, overwhelming emptiness Why can’t somebody help me?

[VERSE 1] You can only find my true self in the lyrics Every victory pyrrhic I tried to prove my importance empirically but I fear its made a logic loop No, we can't converse, cause I really speak ebonics my example of a black man will never be Clarence Thomas I'm not cocky when I tell you that there's no god above me [CHORUS] What a shame, the foundation of existentialism is soul death I brushed my corpse in gold fleck and called it the ubermensch I'm aware of my sins, me and death getting intimate, it can't say no Philosophy became an complicated game of telephone, we all talk, we all lose [VERSE 2] Dialect like ayurvedic medicine Buy my fight for enlightenment in a vinyl set Crying Incited excitement from enemies inviting their spiteful eye Why does violence end in violence? Y'all ain't seen vile yet Identity is detritus piling by the lions den Daniel's bones scattered turned to catalytic converters Detroit has the most talented crackheads, I've heard A forest will bloom from the bridges I've burned We'll all return to ash, the earth is an urn I balance emotion like a single mother's schedule Cycle of abuse perpetuated since America's bicentennial I can't tell if the trauma is the reason I'm asexual But I get fucked by others enough for all of us They taught the shooters no child left behind and they took it to heart Bystanders watch as everything falls apart The revolution's a special on hallmark Watch the crackers clap like a plane's landing It's amazing how fast fame will split your fam Niggas dying for attention, I didn't hang them, I just tied the rope Where there's fire, there's smoke The night sky's covered in billows Capitalist says morality is encumbering until their face to face with that gat loaded in front of them, demanding their racks before they blow and unload vital organs onto the floor Where there's smoke, there's fire, don't think I don't know why you rely on drugs to make you feel at home [CHORUS] What a shame, the foundation of existentialism is soul death I brushed my corpse in gold fleck and I called it the ubermensch I'm aware of my sins, me and death getting intimate, it can't say no Philosophy became a complicated game of telephone We all talk, we all lose [VERSE 3] I told him my name and he still called me nigga instead Do not tempt me, I'm a man of contempt And a man of my word, my sense of pattern recognition absurd, Watching history repeat itself knowing you niggas never learn Dope fiends need dopamine like me, my g We both be seeing pipe dreams, you know what I mean? It's a holy trinity; Sex, trauma, and power Akin to divinity, Infinitely complicating everything I do not- Abandoned her sense of self just to hear that she's a good girl He chokes her to be a strong man I had to ask my masochist friend if they associate pleasure with shame, and therefore, pleasure with pain A self defeatist begging to be humiliated The exhibitionist begging to be appreciated, or was abused as a child and thought that that'd alleviate it The dom that's hoping their weakness will be depreciated Patience emaciated, lost vagrants I wonder if pedophiles like the kids or their weakness cowards searching for power found it in the flowered floundered like addicts itching for powder, for power hours and hours, feeling weak and alone in their showers Let them burn inside their tenements! sorry for my anger, I just don't believe in innocence I'm not romantic enough to not believe in coincidence yeah, I'll tell you the truth but it'll be with due hesitance no I'll never trust you cause niggas don't do diligence My brother told me the spirit is defined by its attempts to cement its own existence The pain grounds him, but I'm buried in it The fetishiziation of suffering only exists for the privileged I'm privy to our dissonance It's hard to be sharp when you're a sea of emotions, in our catharsis, we've never been closer You worship it since it's limited, for us it's infinite Distance diminishing in an instant You told me death isn't the finish Indebted to friends and listeners, interconnected living means an existence with effort is everything Everybody's somebody's everything, take a chance The rapper's in a house of glass and can't stand the passing glances [CHORUS] The foundation of existentialism is souldeath I brushed my corpse in gold fleck, and I called it the ubermensch [VERSE 4] Trauma’s to be interpreted It’s plain to see that we’re experiencing turbulence Action is the manifestation of words and vice versa Your slice of life burned by the fire inside, the anxiety residing in the mind And y'all gone tell me about me? I was a kid There's a little boy in me that y'all don't want me to forgive But there's a man in me that needs it, so something's gone have to give And this time, it's gonna be you. I want the will to live [CHORUS] The foundation of reinvention is death I brushed my corpse in gold fleck, and I called it the ubermensch I'm aware of my sins, me and death getting intimate, I can't say yes Philosophy became a complicated game of telephone, we've all lost, we've all bled If it’s all been misinterpreted Maybe things will be different in another life

This is between us.